Mourning is a natural and a healthy process. We are sad, perhaps beyond words sad, at the passing of a loved one. We will miss him or her; we think of all the things that might have been.

Very often we may be distressed at the manner of their passing, or at something we may have said or done, which now we regret.

I lost my mother on Christmas Day, and three good friends within the last week.

Ken Parker, from Box, was a stalwart supporter of his wife and councillor, Sheila; Brian Cocks, formerly a Formula One driver from Hullavington, was my agent in two elections, chairman of my Business Association for many years and an important figure in the local Conservative Party. We think of his lovely wife, Tina, who works in the local Conservative office.

Nicholas Hawkings-Byass from Marlborough, formerly of Calne, died suddenly and tragically, leaving Claire and his four boys. My heart goes out to all of them.

Yet I was contemplating two other deaths this week. Bob Crow achieved what he did in 52 years; and Tony Benn was one of the nicest and kindest men in Westminster. I disagreed fundamentally with them both on almost everything, but profoundly respect the passionate and sincere way in which they stood by their beliefs. They left their mark on the world, and their funerals and memorial services are our way of marking that contribution. We regret their passing, and their families and friends will miss them dreadfully. But what is important is not that they have died, but what they did when they were alive.

Ken, Brian and Nicholas may have been less public, and their contribution perhaps less obvious. But it is what they did for their families, friends, their work, their local area, their interests and pastimes over the years for which we remember them, and for which we give thanks.

My clergyman father used to counsel that the worst kind of grief is very often about the way in which the loved one has died, or events in the last few days or minutes of their life, or regrets at something we have done, or not done. But we must try to put those natural emotions and regrets to one side and think of all the happy times we have spent together and be grateful for all the wonderful contributions they made to the world around them.

Funerals are sad occasions. But they should also be a way of remembering those things which the deceased has done in their lives.