Security around The Farm has been likened to a ring of steel so we sent reporter David Giles in camouflage to see if he could infiltrate the celebrity lair.
MY heart was pounding as I strutted up the twisting gravel track towards The Farm.
The steel fence circling the 'promised land' looked rather imposing to a humble chicken.
The security guards, tasked with guarding the Heytesbury base, eyed me up suspiciously, as you would do if a 6ft 5ins rooster was walking towards you.
I circled the gates eyeing up the entrance but I couldn't see a sneaky way in. This looked like Farm Knox.
Would my mission end before it began?
Our news conference was running smoothly on Monday until outgoing editor Toby Granville decided he wanted to go out with a final flourish.
My mission, which I was forced to accept, was to break through the security fence and infiltrate The Farm.
However this proved much harder than it first sounded.
I planned my route carefully and decided the front entrance was the best option. To go in from the back would mean wandering onto ground my map described as "danger area" and "rifle range".
So I decided to brave the security guards rather than the MOD snipers.
The operation once I was inside was meticulously planned down to the last detail.
I would head for Vanilla Ice he seems
to be the laziest around the animals so
hopefully he wouldn't pluck or gut me.
Sadly not enough planning went into getting through the watertight security and I fell at the first hurdle.
My mission could either be described as a way to challenge celebrity security or a way for my colleagues to have a good laugh at my expense.
Either way I probably didn't come out on top.
And sadly I'm sure my lacklustre effort won't result in Fathers For Justice banging on my door.
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