IT’S been a tiring day. You’ve just got in from work, sat down, thought about food – and then your partner casually asks, “You have remembered it’s the school open evening tonight, haven’t you?” Yes, the start of the new academic year means open evening season – the time when parents of 10- and 11-year-olds begin to trawl local secondary schools, looking for that special one that’s the most suitable for their child.

As head of one of the largest secondaries in this area, I am going to make a confession: open evenings are in part glossy shop windows in which schools showcase the very best they have to offer, usually with a big sprinkle of winning smiles and well-turned out pupils. So, that being so, is there any point in going along?

The answer is a resounding ‘yes’ – and here’s why. The quality of presentation between schools is variable so visiting can definitely fine-tune your decision-making process. You’ll be there for anything up to three hours, in which time you can fully explore the school site, classrooms, talk to teachers and ask students what life there is really like.

Hopefully you’ll hear from the headteacher – and if you are a first-time visitor to the school, you should strongly consider taking note of what he or she has to say. Take time to feel the atmosphere, observe the relationships between pupils and staff. Ask your child what he or she is feeling as they go round.

The process of choosing the right secondary school does not stop there, however. Often children have visited schools on taster days: this gives them an insight into what secondary school life will be like. They will see the school in session and form their views as to whether this is the right school for them. However, taster visits, too, have their pitfalls: have they experienced a good selection of lessons, or has it just happened to be their favourites? When they come home raving about the food, or the school dog – yes, we have one – get them to see past all of that.

More difficult, but crucial nevertheless, is to gauge how much of the excitement is their excitement and not purely a reflection of their influential friends’ views. At age 10 or 11, most primary pupils can’t imagine life without their classmates, but the reality is that friendships change significantly over their secondary years. Going to big school just because their friends are going is understandable, but it doesn’t make it right.

Data on school performance is fairly straightforward to access. There’s a plethora, including Ofsted reports and league tables. But how does it help you? Undoubtedly, it can prompt questions. You can deduce a certain amount from headline numbers, but is the school soaring as a result of hot-housing, or limiting extra-curricular opportunities; is it floundering on a regular basis, or has it had just one bad year? Is the school teaching to the test at the detriment of everything else? More importantly, does it score highly in other aspects that aren’t necessarily so easily quantifiable?

On a personal level, I am relieved that I have moved beyond choosing for my own children – or more accurately, choosing with them. Having been through the process myself four times, I am acutely aware of the dilemmas parents and children face. So, go to the open evenings, go to showcase lessons, make sure your children have their taster days, check the data and definitely look at the schools’ websites.

But if you really want to see what life at a particular school is like, visit on a normal school day and tour with a member of staff. In an hour-and-a-half, you will see how several hundred students interact; You will be able to assess how happy, friendly and positive members of staff are (or aren’t), how facilities are used and cared for and see what standard lessons are like.

You will also be able to ask questions directly: how are pupils looked after? How are parents involved? Are there lots of clubs and activities? What ambitions and plans does the school have? What about pastoral care, enrichment opportunities and so on?

Pull all of these answers together, combine them with your first-hand experiences and you’ll soon reach a firm conclusion about which school is right.

NEIL SPURDELL, Sheldon School headteacher