My life after heroin

THIS man is living proof that you can beat a lethal addiction to heroin. Dean McMackin, 23, from Kingshill, used to survive on 12 bags of heroin a day costing £120.

Today he is clean of drugs, has a full time job and a fiance, Adele Hollick.

By telling the story of his recovery he hopes to inspire some of the estimated 2,500 class A drug addicts in Swindon to stop killing themselves.

Dean said: "I lived for my next hit of heroin and thought I would die without it. In fact the habit was killing me and I only stopped in the nick of time."

Without the help of any counsellors or heroin substitutes, he came off the drug three years ago. He puts his success down to unflinching will power and the support of his family.

He said: "You must want to do it for yourself. But I owe so much to my family who stood by me when I was like a demon possessed."

Dean left St Joseph's School at 16 and started working in a warehouse. Two years later he moved in with his then girlfriend and said he was too happy to even consider taking drugs.

Then the relationship broke up and his life fell apart. He lost his job and ended up living in Davis House, a homeless hostel in Turl Street, run by the Salvation Army.

He said: "I felt totally lost and depressed. A friend offered me some heroin. I took the stuff because it seemed I had nothing more to lose."

For the first hour after injecting the drug he felt fantastic and forgot all his troubles. But the feeling was short-lived. Dean said: "Within hours I was craving my next fix and would do anything to get hold of it."

With each bag of heroin costing £10, he soon turned to crime to supplement his dole money. Dean started shoplifting to feed his habit.

He said: "You name it, I stole it DVD players, designer clothes, the full works.

"I only got caught once and remember recognising the store detective. He said: 'Look at the state of you, you're ruining your life.'"

But Dean was too hooked to care about what other people thought. Despite pleas from his mum, Christine, and 18-year-old sister, Karli, he continued to steal as his addiction intensified. Dean even started dealing.

He said: "It was sheer greed beyond my control. I couldn't cope without it and ended up needing 12 bags a day."

By this time Dean had lost four stone and wouldn't eat for days on end. He said: "I had no appetite, except for a sugar craving when I was coming down. Apart from chocolate bars, I survived purely on heroin."

In January 2000, Dean was attacked by drug dealers wielding baseball bats. His legs still bear the scars of the ordeal. But after spending two days in Princess Margaret Hospital, he discharged himself, desperate for another hit.

Dean said: "The pain of my injuries was nothing to the agony of going without heroin. No one could stop me getting hold of another hit, even though it had stopped working."

Sinking deeper into depression, he rang his mother as a last resort. He said: "I was at death's door and knew I had two choices stop now or die. So I said: 'Look mum I want to stop this, can I come and stay?'"

Although Dean had stolen money from her purse to buy heroin, Christine, 40, welcomed her son back to the family home in Liden.

She said: "He looked more like Freddie Kruger than my son. But I had to give him a chance. I just swallowed my anger and opened the door."

The family kept Dean under 24-hour surveillance. Christine said: "We had a rota and took it in turns to stay with him. He turned nasty and vicious then he would cry for days, drifting in and out of consciousness. But we knew it was the drugs, not Dean."

Despite not eating he was constantly being sick and went for two weeks without sleep. Sweating and chronic stomach cramps kept him awake at night.

Christine said: "One night he was so bad, his step dad, Michael, just took him out in the car and drove for miles. I was utterly exhausted and couldn't stand seeing him in so much pain. It was like watching The Exorcist."

Determined to overcome his addiction, Dean accepted the tough love of his parents. The first signs of improvement came when he asked to go with Christine to the shops.

She said: "He hadn't been out for weeks, so this was a massive breakthrough. Then slowly he started eating. At first just nibbles of toast, but later pork pies and chicken kievs."

The detox lasted around six weeks, but getting his old life back took longer. Gradually, Dean returned to his old pastimes, like supporting Swindon Town and getting dressed up for a night out on the town.

Christine said: "He went from being a monster back to the Dean we all know and love. It's so brilliant to have him back."

Dean met his fiance, Adele Hollick, 20, last year at The Foyer, in Old Town, which provides housing and support for homeless young people. They have since moved into their own flat in Kingshill and plan to marry next year.

Adele said: "Dean is lovely. I didn't know him when he took drugs so can't even imagine it. We occasionally talk about it and he is so ashamed of his past, but proud of our future."

Dean helps arrange mortgages and Adele runs an office for a building company.

Dean said: "I'd never dream of doing drugs again. I can't believe how much they damaged myself and my family. These days my ideal night is sharing a curry with Adele and watching a video. I'm lucky to be alive and want to thank everyone who had faith in me."

Help is out there . . . but it won't be easy

Evening Advertiser medical advisor Dr Peter Swinyard, of the Phoenix Surgery in Toothill, (pictured left) said he admired Dean's courage and determination.

He said: "There is no right way to beat an addiction, it's a case of different horses for different courses.

"Unlike alcohol, if you suddenly stop taking heroin it won't pose a risk to your life. It is incredibly hard but, as Dean has shown, it is not impossible to stop overnight.

"People tackle addictions in different ways. I take my hat off to Dean. His method worked for him, and he brought himself up from a very low point.

"Most people are unable to give it up like he did."

Heroin addicts wanting to beat their habit can get help and advice from a variety of voluntary and statutory agencies in Swindon.

The best place to start is at the Swindon and Wiltshire Alcohol and Drug Service (SWADS) at 13 Milton Road.

The centre has an assessment clinic which is open between 9.30am and 11.30am every Monday.

Drug counsellors are on hand to discuss the best way to tackle the problem.

SWADS also offers counselling courses and advice for drug users.

It can be contacted on (01793) 695405.

Addicts can also get advice and support from Druglink, in Victoria Road, Old Town, which can be contacted on (01793) 610133.

The Avon and Wiltshire NHS Specialist Drug and Alcohol Service runs treatment courses for more dependent users. It can be contacted on (01793) 491917.