Ref. 29331-28 Ravi Panesar and her daughter JagiTEENAGERS are often accused of speaking a different language from their parents.

Now a course aiming to bridge that generation gap has started in Swindon.

Coping With Teenagers, a six-week course for adults who want to get on better with their offspring, has returned to Swindon courtesy of the Children's Information Service .

The course gives parents the chance to discuss with each other the difficulties they are facing, as well as learning ways to improve communication and manage conflict.

Last week a new law came into effect, widening the use of parental orders arising from criminal conduct or anti-social behaviour.

The law empowers local education authorities to apply directly for parenting orders which compel parents to attend counselling and control their children's behaviour.

Although the CIS course is a voluntary one, the principle of early intervention is the same.

One of the parents who completed a CIS course last November said it had improved her relationship with her teenage daughter. Ravi Panesar, 41, an administrator from Okus, said: "I did the course because I wanted to know how teenagers think.

"I wanted to learn the best way to talk and listen to my 14-year-old daughter and the course taught me the things I was not doing right.

"If you catch teenagers just when you are starting to have problems with communicating then things can be improved.

"But if you leave it until later when they're answering back and they're doing what they want it will be much harder."

For one of the six sessions parents are asked to bring along their teenagers to mix with the adults in what has turned out to be an eye-opening experience for both youngsters and parents.

The CIS seeks to give independent advice and guidance to parents in Swindon. For more information about Coping With Teenagers call 01793 541786.

The Teenager

When my sister was born I felt a bit left out because I had been an only child for so long.

But now we feel closer because I'm in secondary school and sometimes I ask her for advice.

My younger brother and sister are around so they need more attention than me but sometimes we go shopping together.

We will carry on doing things together however old we are.

My friends are always going on about how they argue with their parents all the time and I don't think I do it as often.

Adults are not actually that different to people my age. Sometimes parents and children find it hard to get on, and parents forget what it's like to want to go out.

Jagi Panesar, 14

The Mother

My daughter was an only child until she was about six and all my attention went on her.

Then I had my second child and at the age of 12 she started to become more independent and wanted her own bedroom.

When she became a teenager she didn't like the clothes I was choosing for her. She wanted to go out with her friends and it was very difficult for me to let her go because as a teenager I wasn't allowed to.

Now I'm quite happy with her behaviour. My main concern is that she doesn't get into the wrong crowd and for her to do well in her studies.

Parents sometimes don't appreciate how teenagers think and forget we were teenagers as well.

Jagi's mum, Ravi Panesar

Andy Tate