This weekend I took an hour out of my fun-packed schedule to prune a garden hedge.
Job done, I could relax in the knowledge that not only had I conquered nature with a sharp metal instrument, but I would be able to dispose of the cuttings before Wiltshire Council's dreaded recycling centre booking system came into force.
But then, disaster struck! In an event not at all contrived for the benefit of a newspaper article, I was forced to delay my recycling plans until Monday, September 14 - the first day of the mandatory booking system.
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Monday morning comes and at 11.30 I sit down with my phone, a coffee, and a notebook and pen to chart my experience.
Where to start? I open my internet search browser. “Wilts tip book slot". The first hit is a link to Wiltshire Council’s website.
A click through to the landing page for Wiltshire's new tip-booking system, and I am faced with vast swathes of information, and a YouTube video in case I can’t be bothered to read all the words.
“Or…” I think, throwing caution to the wind, “I could click the big green button marked Book Your Household Recycling Centre Visit.”
A fresh page, and the opportunity to sign in to my MyWilts account. Using the nifty auto sign-in function on my phone, it’s off to the next step.
On the new screen, there are some more boxes to fill in: name, address, mobile number.
Vehicle registration. “Do you have a Blue Badge?” No. “Is it a hire vehicle?” Nope. “Is this a fully-fitted campervan?” I go to the living room window and pull back the curtain. No, it’s still a hatchback – just as I remember it.
Vehicle registration number. I type that in. But does my car have a trailer of less than 1.8 metres in length? No, it does not.
Which recycling centre would you like to visit? Oh my! The places I could visit on company time! Devizes, Lower Compton, Melksham, Purton, Salisbury, Stanton St Quintin.
As it’s my closest, and I don’t know how far in the future I’ll be offered a slot, I opt for Devizes.
‘Select a date and time slot’. I am expecting a wait. A week? Maybe a fortnight? No, they have slots today. And tomorrow. And for the whole week during normal opening hours, including Saturday and Sunday.
I could have one in ten minutes if I wanted one, but I live a 10-minute drive from the recycling centre, and I haven’t wrestled the cuttings into the boot yet. Better make it noon.
By 12, I am approaching the recycling centre. How long will the queue be? There isn’t one. From a sentry box that wasn’t there on my last visit, a man clad in orange overalls steps into my path, signalling for me to stop with a raised hand.
Here we go, I think, as he starts tapping some details into a tablet. Prepare for interrogation by a council-endorsed jobswor… oh hang on, we’re in, with a cheerful smile and a raised thumb.
Inside the facility, it’s busy, but not too busy. I don’t have to queue for a bay as I have done on previous visits. I even manage to back into one of the two spaces near the skips marked Garden Waste.
By 12.10 I am back on the road. The whole experience, including the traditional hunt for the car keys, hulking a heavy bag of cuttings into a hatchback, and a ten-minute drive has taken me 40 minutes.
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There are still questions for Wiltshire Council to answer: at recycling centres with major queueing problems – and Devizes is not one of them, while the facility at Calne remains open – can the expense of the system be justified?
For now, I am happy to report that the new booking system is simple to use, and it gives me a guaranteed slot at a time that suits me.
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