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How to spot a cannabis factory
What is it about Wiltshire that attracts Britain's cannabis industry?
In the last year or so factories have been uncovered in quiet suburban houses in Chippenham, Calne (two) and Swindon (two). I know that North Wiltshire District Council has been going all out to attract new business into the area but that's ridiculous.
They seem to have lain undiscovered for months, although in each case neighbours have suspected something was not quite right because of the exotic smell wafting over the street.
It's amazing really because we aren't talking about a few growbags and the odd stalk, this is production on a massive scale with rows and rows of plants, ventialtion, special lighting and watering systems.
I just wonder how many more are out there.
I thought it might be useful if I put together some handy advice in order that you can tell when a cannabis factory is at work in your locale.
1) Have your neigbours been unloading huge carrier bag loads of stuff from Homebase and Whitehall but their lawn is still wilder than Russell Brand's hair after a night in a bush?
2) Has the corner shop unnaccountably sold out of Rizlas, Twixes and Kit Kats?
3) Have you caught the milkman on all fours, staring at the sunlight reflecting off the dew on a spider's web?
4) Have people called Wazzer, Joey the Grass and Spliffy started using your local?
5) Has the Neighbourhood Watch group begun singing Joni Mitchell songs around a camp fire and piercing their eyebrows?
6) When your are sitting in your garden does everything seem, just, well, okay?