Quite unusually for me, I found myself standing at a bar the other night. As I was waiting to be served, another chap came in and stood not far away.

He was, as is becoming increasingly common, somewhat younger than me.

The barmaid was just finishing serving another customer (who says it’s quiet in Devizes?) when she came to us. Clearly thinking that the other chap was there before me, she made to serve him.

I got my best glare ready and was starting to rehearse another middle-aged rant along the lines of “bleedin’ youth of today, don’t know they’re born, no manners these days, when I were a lad...” when this young gentleman indicated me and said to the barmaid “this bloke’s next”.

I offered the time-honoured response of “cheers, mate”, got my drink and paid as quickly as I could.

When my new chum had got his drink, I complimented him on his manners. He replied that it was just the decent thing to do and we heaped curses and opprobrium on the heads of those who do not follow such basic rules of society.

There are ancient Greek and Roman writings where the authors complain about the decline in manners and standards of behaviour; how they’d never have got away with carrying on the way the young people do now and suchlike. This has carried on ever since. Without such gripes, the Daily Mail would be a very slim publication indeed.

But despite the perception of a general drop in standards, it can’t really be true, otherwise we’d be in total chaos. And we’re not. No, really, we’re not. Sure, there are some rude, inconsiderate people out there but most are fundamentally decent with a grasp of right and wrong. And even the most worthy amongst us is guilty of poor or ill-considered behaviour at times; more often by mistake than malice.

Perhaps it is swearing that is the issue. As a young lad, I was brought up not to swear and indeed I was mocked by many of my friends and acquaintances for my mealymouthedness. But some time in my teens I changed and have been playing catch-up ever since.

Some would say that I’m now well ahead of the game. Of course I do appreciate that there’s a time and a place. Some would say that the time is never and the place is nowhere. Others feel that it’s more anywhen and anywhere.

For most of our history I’d argue that more people have leant towards the latter than the former. Shakespeare changed the way we speak as much as any man but he has Hamlet say: “Do you think I meant country matters?” and Malvolio in Much Ado about Nothing offers: “These be her very C’s, her U’s, and her T’s, and thus makes she her great P’s”. If I were to expand on those references, it wouldn’t make it to print; so I find it amusing when people who would object to The Worst Word quite happily call someone a berk.

For reasons that I don’t understand, swearing has become almost synonymous with rudeness.

Yet some of the rudest phrases in English contain no words that you couldn’t utter in front of the proverbial maiden aunt.

“With respect” and “no offence” generally precede a statement that shows that the speaker meant anything but.

Perhaps that’s a reflection of our love of irony. And then there’s: “I’m not a racist but …” which is normally followed by some odious, ill-informed claptrap.

To me, rudeness is more a matter of deeds than words.

It’s feet on the seat of a bus, littering, not waiting your turn, condescension, demonstrating a sense of entitlement and generally doing things that I don’t like.

So I had to smile when leaving a mayoral engagement and a chap just looked me in the eye and quietly said “see you next time”.