Like me, I’m sure that most of you get to the newsagent as early as you can on a Thursday to get your copy of the Gazette before the print run sells out.

This week I would imagine it’s been a bit of a struggle as you’ll have had to fight your way through the thronging masses that are on their way to vote in the European elections.

Hmmm … maybe not. Maybe I’ve misread the zeitgeist but this whole event seems to have been a bit of a damp squib. Press regulations mean that the editor will take a big red pen to this piece if I appear to be doing any more than suggesting that people vote, so I’ll do no more than that.

Come to think of it, though, even if I were to try to influence people on how to vote, it might not work out as I wanted. After all, not so many years ago I wasn’t even able to persuade enough people to vote me back onto Devizes Town Council when I was mayor.

I think I’m the only sitting mayor in the long and august history of this town to fail to get re-elected.

As an aside, we had another mayoral record breaker in Devizes last week when Sarah Bridewell became the first daughter to follow her mother (Jane Burton) in the same office.

It’s definitely a first for Devizes and probably for Wiltshire too. Well done and good luck, Sarah.

Now, to go back to my non-partisan, strictly independent, haven’t- got-a-clue-what’s-going-on view of the election. I might not even vote if I didn’t feel honour bound to do so. But our forefathers (and mothers, I hasten to add) fought long and hard to secure us the right to take part in the democratic process and it feels like a bit of a kick in the teeth to them if we fail to vote I’ve voted in every election for which I’ve been eligible.

Tell a lie, I didn’t take part in that daft Police and Crime Commissioner election. But did anyone vote in that one? I suppose a few must have done so but I’ve yet to meet anyone who admits to it.

The Police and Crime Commissioner election might have been a bit underwhelming, but at least it did adhere to the democratic process.

Unlike the big one on May 10 – the UK’s Eurovision vote. It turns out that the telephone votes that people had paid for were vetted by a jury.

The British public threw its weight behind the Polish entry but the jury of musical worthies decided that we proles had been swayed by the frocks (and milk-churns) on display and decided that the song had little musical merit.

So Royaume Uni gave our Slavic friends nul points. Sure, Eurovision matters little in the grand scheme of things – it’s a show more than a musical contest – but this patronising disregard of the popular will really got on my wick.

Perhaps the Police and Crime Commissioner election is the one we really should have given more serious attention. I read last week that our commissioner has given the best part of 80 grand to Circles South West, a group that supports sex offenders once they are released from prison.

The money will help to support volunteers who should be “non-judgemental, emotionally stable and approachable [with] life experiences and a mature outlook.” Well, I know of two such people who would be perfect for that role. Their names are Spear and Jackson. Or, for the more difficult cases, Messrs Smith & Wesson. And then maybe the money can be spent on helping the victims to repair some of the damage that these people have done.