Author Paul Tough argues that character strengths including optimism, self-control and perseverance are just as vital for future success as academic attainment.

And while it is, of course, true that academic attainment gives children a better chance of a successful career and life, a new book argues that the cognitive skills developed as a child may not be as important as a very different set of qualities that add up to a child’s character.

For his book How Children Succeed, author Paul Tough studied huge amounts of research on children’s education, ability and success, and concluded: “The conventional wisdom that has guided our thinking about child development and education has been misguided.

“We’ve been emphasising a set of skills – IQ and the sort of cognitive skills that are measured on standardised tests – and a lot of people believe that they are the one determinant of how well a child does in life.

“But the scientists and educators I write about in the book have identified a very different set of skills, things like grit and perseverance, conscientiousness, curiosity and optimism, which they say are at least as important as those cognitive, IQ-type skills, and arguably much more so.”

It’s strengths such as these, he says, that often explain why some people manage to overcome harsh beginnings and achieve huge success in life.

“I think educational attainment matters a lot,” he said. “But the skills we need to succeed both in school and beyond are not just standardised test-taking skills.

“We can become overly focused on academic attainment. When you look at people who succeed in life, they aren’t necessarily the ones who excelled at school – they have these character strengths and go on to do amazing things.

“It’s true on the flip-side as well – there are a lot of kids who seem like the perfect students, but when they get out into the world, they find it very difficult to do well, and in many cases that’s because they lack the character strengths that help them succeed.”

The good news, he said, is that such skills can be developed as a child grows, although it’s not quite as simple as reading a book or learning times tables.

It’s particularly important for a child not to grow up in a very stressful environment, as this leads to children’s stressresponse systems not developing properly, which in turn affects not only their physical and mental health, but also the development of their character.

In the primary school years, a major part of the way the important character skills develop is through dealing with challenges and failure, and having the right attitude to failure.

But parents need to be careful not to approach their children’s potential failures in the wrong way – some mums and dads will talk to their kids about setbacks, adversity and failure as though they were real catastrophes.

“That makes it difficult for kids to develop the grit, perseverance and selfconfidence that they need to move forward,” said Paul.

Parents need to find ways to make it acceptable for their kids to fail in a way that’s productive – failure itself doesn’t lead to good character, it’s learning how to manage it and deal with setbacks.”

When something goes wrong, in many cases it’s a good idea for parents to step back and let children solve their own problems and deal with the consequences.

Another thing parents can do is talk to their children about qualities such as perseverance, optimism and conscientiousness as skills that every person needs to learn and can get better at.

“There are a lot of young people who don’t hear that message, but when they do, it really changes the way they feel about themselves and what they can do,” said Paul.

He advises that parents can help children develop important character skills in the following ways:

Curiosity:

Talk about what curious people do (asking a lot of questions, experimenting), emphasise that they’re positive traits, and let children work things out for themselves. Allow their natural curiosity to flourish.

Perseverance:

Encouraging children to overcome mild adversity and failure themselves.

Optimism:

Paul Tough refers to the book Learned Optimism by the University of Pennsylvania psychology professor Martin Seligman, who argues that optimism is a teachable skill, not an inborn trait.

Pessimistic adults and children can train themselves to be more hopeful, says Seligman, by not viewing negative events as ‘personal, permanent and pervasive’, but instead finding specific, short-term, limited explanations for setbacks. If they do this, they’re likely to become happier, healthier and successful.

Self-control:

Growing up in a stress-free environment helps children develop self-control, and it can be increased by encouraging them to see it as a strength that will help them in many aspects of their life. A key part of helping children succeed is parents not wrapping them in cotton wool.

“Protecting children is an instinct and something that comes naturally to parents,” said Paul Tough. “But when we over-protect them, we’re doing more harm than good.”